Once again, there’s a veritable bonanza of gorgeous subs up for scoring on Threadless and I’ve hand-picked some of my favorites for your voting pleasure:

While I don’t particularly like chocolate (and am, apparently, the only woman on earth who feels that way), I do love shirts with anthropomorphic chocolate hearts eating a box full of delicious Valentine’s Day humans. Mmm, humans; delicious, delicious humans. Admit it. It’s funny. And extremely well drawn, I might add. Put this on a cranberry tee (Threadless needs to print far more of them) and you’ve got yourself a Valentine’s Day Massacre winner.

My verdict: $5 (View submission)

Quite possibly my favorite shirt up for scoring now and any time in the recent past. Who doesn’t love a cute little piggy? Look at his fat little piggy butt and his cute little piggy face and tell me that your heart isn’t melting with piggy love. But a cute little piggy alone, adorable as he or she may be, doesn’t win a Threadless print and Friends In Low Places goes the extra mile by having a thoroughly adorable story behind it. Frank’s (I’m calling the pig Frank; I’ve made up my mind) got his own personal bodyguards to protect him when he goes for a swim. We should all wish for friends who would protect us from alligators while we lazed around in the water.

My verdict: $5 (View submission)

Weirdness abounds. Who doesn’t want a shirt with a giant parrot eating a woman’s head? Or perhaps she skinned the parrot and is wearing it as some sort of fashion statement. Either way, this shirt is awesome. Look into those staring, beady bird eyes and feel the urge to vote $5 building inside you. That’s right, Monsieur Perroquet demands you vote $5. At the top of the scoring area. The $ and the 5, in that order. Excellent. Now go get Monsieur Perroquet a cracker. A big cracker.

My verdict: $5 (View submission)

I’m as tired of skull shirts as the next Threadie, but Tombstone is undeniably awesome all the same. What makes it awesome is a bit harder to pin down. Is it the silver metallic ink? I do love metallic ink (silver being my favorite), but that alone won’t win the “awesome” vote from me. Is it the cowboy on his faithful steed? Probably not. Cowboys aren’t inherently awesome anymore (and never were for me). Is it the skull? Another no. If I had a nickel for every time a Threadless voter complained about a design having another skull in it, I’d be marginally less strapped for cash than I am right now. Maybe it’s a combination of all of those things being more than a sum of their parts. Maybe it’s the splatters (again, I doubt that’s what’s carrying the full weight). Maybe there’s some sort of subliminal message encoded in the seemingly random splatters and scratches and other “noise.” All I know is that I like this.

My verdict: 4 (View submission)

I like simple ideas. In fact, I like them more than complicated ones the majority of the time. Elephas Maximus is a simple idea in the extreme: incorporate the sleeve of a hoodie or long-sleeved tee into an elephant design by having it stand in for the pachyderm’s trunk. Not only is it brilliant in its simplicity, but it’s really nicely executed to boot. Simple, clean but surprisingly detailed. And did I mention the sleeve is the elephant’s trunk? But what about t-shirts, you ask. Threadless doesn’t print designs only on hoodies. Can’t help you there. It would look awfully strange on a short-sleeve tee. Like the elephant either has the world’s shortest trunk or has somehow managed to rig his trunk up with a system of pullies so that it can be retracted so as not to get in the way. But as a hoodie? Winner!

My verdict: $4 (View submission)

I have to admit, it’s the mole in the front that wins this one for me. Something about how politely he’s tapping the guy on the shoulder before clobbering him over the head. “Excuse me, sir. Me and my companions would like to have a word with you.” BAM! Right in the kisser! I also have to admit that their claws while creepy (they’re edging dangerously close to three-toed sloth territory, which isn’t somewhere I personally want to go), they sort of sell the design for me. They’re freakin’ ginormous. I can only imagine that they must feel like being tapped on the shoulder with a baseball bat. A pointy baseball bat.

My verdict: 5 (View submission)